The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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