Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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