why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Success! We fucked roommates!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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