Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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