break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
