trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
