He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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