So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
