you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
