i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
