HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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