I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
