he told me I talked like a deaf person
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
