Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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