your thong is hanging out like whoa
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
