I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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