I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm always down for nudity.
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