Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
