I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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