I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
