I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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