love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
