Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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