So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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