just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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