Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
