the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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