just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
the raccoons are back...
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