omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
