he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
