you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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