If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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