i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
