I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
