I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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