call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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