after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
