yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
