I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
