im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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