Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
