This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You made out with two different species that night
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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