Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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