question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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