I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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