I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
