Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
