I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
