did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
