i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
