He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
