is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
