did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm both gender and math confused
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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