there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize