We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
