theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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