Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
