Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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