That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
