hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
