just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
did i walk over a car last night?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
