She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
