Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
