We named our party play list daddy issues
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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