I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
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She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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