I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
