Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
