You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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